This is where your healing really begins, not with him, but with you.
This isnât about pretending it never happened. Itâs about facing it head-on, releasing the pain, and rebuilding the most important relationship in your life: the one with yourself.
You canât heal what you wonât feel. And right now, your emotions are loud.
After no contact, the first step is to release everything youâve been holding in: the sadness, confusion, anger, guilt, hope. You can do this in two powerful ways:
This is not for your ex. This is for you. When your emotions live only in your head, you feel them without processing them. Writing or speaking them allows you to see and hear your pain clearly, and that clarity is the beginning of healing.
Heartbreak brings chaos. Routine brings rhythm.
A structured daily routine will help you stop spiraling over what happened. It distracts your mind from obsessive, hurt, and pain thinking and focuses you on a pathway toward wholeness.
Use your routine to care for:
When we are going through a breakup, we tend to neglect our health. A healing routine reminds us daily: We are still here. We are still whole. We are becoming
Healing isnât a solo mission.
Whether itâs a trusted friend, therapist, or online community, you need people you can lean on. And if you donât have someone in this moment, let your journal be your confidant. Let books, podcasts, or healing blogs pour truth into you.
Write what youâre feeling. Compare it to what others have experienced.
Let their words remind you that what youâre feeling is normal and temporary
You wonât feel strong every day, and thatâs okay. But you can shift the energy.
A âmood changerâ is anything that can bring light back into your day. Try:
Create a list of your personal mood changers and use them often.
Let your space reflect where youâre going, not where youâve been.
Physical triggers are silent saboteurs. That sweatshirt he left. The wine glasses you always used. His playlist. Remove them and replace them with items that reflect your new identity. Your style. Your flair.
This is your chance to reintroduce yourself to your own life
Itâs time to pour back into you.
Self-care isnât a trend; itâs a trauma response done with love. Add self-care to your daily routine because during a breakup, we often neglect our health, our needs, and the parts of us that need the most care:
Be patient. Be kind to yourself. You are in a tender season give yourself the grace you would give a dear friend.
You didnât fail. You learned. You loved. And now⊠You rise.
Breakups can trigger brutal self-talk. But healing means becoming your own soft place to land.
Instead of: âI was a fool to love him,â say: âI did the best I could with what I knew at the time.â
đĄ Self-love tip: Start a Self-Love Jar. Write down compliments, strengths, or joyful memories on slips of paper. Reach for one when you need a reminder of who you really are.
If you would like deeper insight into how to get over a breakup, check out my book It has exercises that will not only help you heal but also transform you into the best version of yourself. "NOT ANOTHER BREAKUP BOOK"
After No Contact⊠comes New Connection â to yourself.
This season is not about punishing yourself or proving your worth. Itâs about returning home to you. Let this be the chapter where you rewrite your story, not as someone abandoned â but as someone awakened.