Let's be honest...

No contact alone doesn’t work.

And if you’ve tried it, you probably already know that.

Sure, it can limit how much you talk to your ex—but it doesn’t stop you from thinking about him.

And when you’re thinking about him, it’s easy to fall right back into that emotional trap:

questioning the breakup, romanticizing what happened, and even wanting him back… in spite of everything.

So no contact by itself isn’t enough.

Because while it gives you distance, it doesn’t do the deeper work of truly letting him go—so that you can heal.

No Contact Is Just the Start

Yes, it’s important. It gives you the solitude and space to begin your healing.

But once you’ve created that space, the next step is doing the internal work.

That means shifting your value away from him and back onto yourself.

And that starts with this one hard but necessary truth:

You have to diminish his value.

You have to challenge your perspective of him being valuable in your life.

Because it’s that value the way you still see him, the pedestal you’ve left him on that’s keeping your heart and mind hostage.

Here’s what that inner work looks like. You want exercises that help you:

Challenge the story you told yourself about who he was

Re-value your worth

Re-establish your identity outside of your relationship with him

Rebuild your sense of power

And ultimately, transform how you see love and yourself moving forward

If you want help with that, I walk you through it in my book Not Another Breakup Book, especially in the chapter called “How to Diminish Your Ex’s Value.”

But for now, let’s talk about what you can do after no contact that will actually move you forward.

1. Create Routines That Exclude Your Ex

We don’t talk about this enough, but one of the best ways to stay committed to no contact…

is to build a daily life that doesn’t include him at all.

You need routines that fill your time and center you.

They’ll keep your mind busy with tasks that support your well-being and healing.

Examples:

• A workout routine to feel physically stronger.
• A journaling practice to work through your emotions.
• A morning ritual that grounds your thoughts before social media or memories sneak in.

It’s not just about distraction, it’s about reconstruction.

Replace idle time that invites temptation or reminiscing with things that build you back up.

Start setting daily goals that align with your healing.

Because when you design routines with intention, they don’t just help you keep no contact…

They make you want to stay in it.

2. Mood Changers: Plan for Mood Shifts

You’re going to have emotional ups and downs. That’s normal.

Some days, you’ll feel okay even hopeful.

Other days, it’ll feel like the weight of everything just dropped on your chest.

That’s why you need ready-to-go mood changers.

Because when your mood dips, it’s way too easy to start reminiscing, missing, or second-guessing the breakup.

Think of this like emotional CPR. Here are a few tools to keep close:

• A playlist that lifts your spirit or reminds you of who you were before him.
• If you’re spiritual or religious, scripture, affirmations, or sacred texts that give you strength in dark moments.
• A short walk, a deep stretch, a visit to the spa anything that helps you shift your state without spiraling

Mood changers don’t solve everything, but they keep you moving through moments that could otherwise pull you back.

3. Remove Triggers That Reopen Wounds

Let’s be honest: your environment might be quietly sabotaging your healing.

Certain songs, outfits, old messages, even shared restaurants… they all carry memories.

And if you’re not careful, they can keep reactivating pain that you’re trying to move past.

So start identifying and removing those emotional triggers:

• Hide or archive your old texts and photos.
• Mute his account or anyone who posts about him.
• Rearrange your space, change your sheets, light a new candle.
• And yes, get rid of the hoodie. That hoodie.

This isn’t about being petty it’s about being protective.

And it’s also a powerful opportunity to reinvent yourself.

Things you once picked out together? You now get to replace them with items that reflect your style. Your spirit. Your flare.

4. Build Self-Nurturing Rituals

When we’re heartbroken, we tend to shut down.

We skip meals. We don’t sleep. We isolate. We scroll.

But right now, your body, your mind, and your spirit need you.

So let’s start small but consistent.

Set timers for basic care.

• A reminder to eat, even if it’s light.
• A set bedtime so your body can rest.
• Just 10 minutes of movement, walking, stretching, and breathing.

These rituals become anchors.

They don’t just fill time; they help you reconnect to yourself.

You’ll think about him again tomorrow, maybe. That’s okay.

But tonight? Eat something. Drink water. Rest.

Not because you’ve “moved on.”

But because you’re choosing to stay here for you.

If you want a full breakdown of these steps, I go deeper in Seven Proven Steps to Get Over Your Breakup.

Because you deserve more than just silence.

You deserve structure.

You deserve healing.

And most of all, you deserve you back.